i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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