I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
