You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
