the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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