i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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