then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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