i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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