i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
