didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
