Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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