Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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