Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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