no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize