If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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