From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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