I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
