Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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