I could have mohawked her pubes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize