he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
