That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
