After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
