WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
