brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
