There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
