Kiss
Puke
oh god the rape fog is back!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize