and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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