"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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