THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
