OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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