I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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