Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
