I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
