Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
