We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
