I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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