I am puke
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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