cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
