im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is Oprah even human
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
