I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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