You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
