it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize