is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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