How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
