Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
