I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
