Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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