So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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