so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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