Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
