she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You should frame my arrest warrant.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
