I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
