No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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