you would pick up someone in the library
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
