Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
