ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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