Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
