WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
