I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
