alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
