Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
