I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize