Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
pray to the hookup gods
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
