I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
