me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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