don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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