Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
