that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
