take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
