that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
