i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
