I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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