From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
