If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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