I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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