haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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