i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This gyro tastes like lonliness
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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