If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
