My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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