I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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